Why don't you speak Thai?

‘Language is a door to an entire culture, an entire legacy.’

Esther Perel

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Lost Time

24 April, 2023
Bangkok, Thailand

‘Your mum is Thai. Why don’t you speak Thai?’

A common question with no response. I’m finally claiming responsibility for this.

My half-Thai heritage barely shows. I speak no different to an everyday farang. I stand in the tourist line, barricades separating me from my entire family walking the local line.

I watch mum speak in her native tongue for a whole week. She looks different to when she is in Australia. Relaxed. Happy. Confident. Liberated.

Why haven’t I made the effort to make her feel this way in Australia?

I’m seeing mum’s worlds through adult eyes.

I’m seeing the chase for lost time.

The disconnection is confronting, but necessary.

Love Language

18 May, 2026
Kandy, Sri Lanka

Communication with mum is through food.
Preparing meals together.
Eating together.
Reciting recipes
together.

The kitchen transcends words.
Presence felt across the bench.
A mixing bowl stays to the side with a meal’s worth of samples.
She I snack when cooking.

Cookbooks are time capsules.
Photo albums,
memories of past meals flashing by.
The love language is our lifeline.

Long distance is hard.

Less co-creation. Budget backpacking and South America are foreign relationships to food for a Thai chef. She’s relieved I’m back on the spice trail in South Asia.

Phone calls are short. Dialogue minimal. We love each other, but there’s not much to say beyond food. It fills our plates.

Revealing that I’m learning Thai was our longest call whilst travelling.

We practice Thai
together.

It’s opening paths to connection, culture, and legacy.

I see joy give rise to her cheeks. They flush red.

I think why I haven’t done this for 28 years.

She’s patient, happy we’re experiencing this now.

Her eyes sparkle with excitement to share her world with me.